Chronicles of Marnia

This week in tweets. I brought my "A game". Enjoy:

@redclaydiaries Our dumb Boxer, Howie, thinks possums who get on our back porch to eat the dog food, are chew toys...

@redclaydiaries It's just awesome to hear him outside making a ruckus, open the door and see him tossing one up in the air and catching it.

JeanneDamoff @marni71 @redclaydiaries EWWWWW! He tosses them in the air? I do NOT want to see that. Ever. Too late, though. Curse this vivid imagination.

@JeanneDamoff Yeah, yeah you do! I can get you a dumb white one named Howie. Free shipping!!

JeanneDamoff @marni71 Thanks, but no thanks. A possum-tossing boxer might tip the balance of my already questionable sanity.

@JeanneDamoff @redclaydiaries They all live, believe it or not. When Howie gets bored and puts them down, they just stagger away ;-)

redclaydiaries @marni71 Oh, I LOVE that mental picture. Staggering Possums: also a great name for a rock band.

@redclaydiaries And I do enjoy the possum show Howie gives us. I grab popcorn and make an event of it.

redclaydiaries @marni71 Oooh, I like the way you think! Wanna be my other doppelganger?

@redclaydiaries I thought you'd never ask. Now excuse me, I have to go Google doppelganger and see what the heck that is.

Just mailed my daughter a Halloween care package to her dorm. I sent her lots of silly string. Mother of the Year award? Bring it on!

This just in: @makeadiff21 surprised her kids with Happy Meals. We may have another contender for Mother of the Year.

makeadiff21 @marni71 LOL. Thanks! I am very popular right now

Great day at the ballfield coaching daughter today. "Peyton can swing, Peyton can whack. If I were you, I'd scoot my booty back!"

Stayed up late watching "Dallas Divas and Daughters". 1. None of that was actually Dallas 2. It was 60 mins of my life I'll never get back

@billycoffey On hold with customer service of a company. Thick accent, I can't understand a word. It's a great start to my day ;-)

@HeatherSunseri This was an unauthorized charge. Bad hold music, looong wait and now the accent I can't understand. Shoot me now.

@HeatherSunseri I had to spell my name. I used the "military alphabet" to spell it. She used a "made up but hilarious alphabet".

@HeatherSunseri For instance "M as in maybe, a as in artichoke, r as in rabies" etc. Wow.

@BridgetChumbley Thanks for hosting. I've done nothing but read blogs all day, but I'm blessed so much by it!

RT @stacyasmallSFL: @prodigaljohn STOP SENDING OUT TWEETS! I'm trying to pray here.///hahahaha!

RT @katdish: Dear @BridgetChumbley 's blog carnival. I have nothing set out for dinner. I blame you.// me too! But Pizza Hut is grateful.

I'm sitting at Starbucks doing "research"@BillyCoffey style. But the group I'm researching r so annoying & shallow, not like Billy's group.

@becca_homefront @purichristos but I might not be able blog on the shallow without being shallow myself. Darn paradoxes!!

Is anyone else slightly freaked out about @pwilson refering to himself as a "corn hole champion"? ;-p

Then there was the great coffee debate 2009. Clearly I won this one and @redclaydiaries needs counseling.

The last sip of coffee left in the cup is always the hardest...

redclaydiaries @marni71 The hardest to what? Chew?

PuriChristos @marni71 if by hardest you mean taste like lukewarm nastiness that makes you want to vomit then yes

@redclaydiaries Say goodbye to...It's all gone...what do I do now? I'm out of Blue Monsters!! sniff.

PuriChristos @marni71 I have like 30 blue monsters in the youth building right now ... I'm just sayin

@PuriChristos Why must you taunt me so?

redclaydiaries @marni71 OH. That IS a tragedy. I just made a new pot of decaf for us. I think @starbucks owes us something 4 all the coffee we buy

@redclaydiaries Decaf isn't really coffee. I'm sorry I had to use tough love on you so early in the day. Let's still be friends.

redclaydiaries @marni71 Sniffle. That was HARSH. I don't know, I think I might need a little space.

@redclaydiaries I understand. When you feel better, we can try counseling.

redclaydiaries @marni71 What? You mean in the same room? I don't think I'm ready for that. I'm wounded, I tell you. WOUNDED.

@redclaydiaries By "we", I meant "you"...so I won't be in the same room

Brian_Russell @marni71 You know, this morning I woke up, and finally had creamer to make coffee... and CRACKED MY COFFEE POT whilst filling it. GRUMPY.

@Brian_Russell That happened to me this summer. I mourned all day then spent waaay too much on a replacement. Addiction is a painful thing

redclaydiaries @Brian_Russell @marni71 Two words: thermal carafe. Unbreakable, AND keeps the coffee hot w/o cooking it.

@redclaydiaries You put decaf in the awesome thermal carafes that I can only HOPE to have one day??? I'm gonna need a moment...

And then it happened...

TAXIDERMY LADY IS HERE!!!! I gotta go hide in the bathroom for a bit. BRB.

Now I'm tweeting from the bathroom. I wonder if it's safe to go back to my office...

Annnnnd I'm back at my desk. Victory is mine!

PuriChristos @marni71 I think that is a serious breach of twitter etiquette. Just because u can doesn't mean u should

@PuriChristos I was just "in" the bathroom, not "going" to the bathroom. Unwad your panties.

Then @sarahmsalter and I talked religion

sarahmsalter @marni71 @redclaydiaries At our church, they have a label on the Decaf carafe that reads, "Weak Women's Coffee."

@sarahmsalter "Weak Women's Coffee" that's awesomeness! We're Baptists, so our coffee pot says, "Woman, get me a cup of coffee!"

Then I worked on my "street cred"...

@Brian_Russell My daughter spells it "boooooiiiiiiiii" . No idea why, but she's a teenager, so she's credible.

Brian_Russell @marni71 That actually works for me. I've seen it like that, and it accomplishes the sound with fewer characters.

Then I moved on to other important topics such as TV shows I'm now in love with

I love the show Psych! Why didn't anyone tell me about this awesomeness? Now I have like 4 seasons to make up for.

PuriChristos @marni71 I wrote a freakin post about the show!!! I tweet it all the time!!! I cannot be held responsible when others ignore me

@PuriChristos Sensitive much? Okay, I'm sorry I didn't listen. It won't happen again. But seriously dude, this show is hi-lar-i-ous!

PuriChristos @marni71 I know right? They are on twitter btw. Funny stuff

katdish @marni71 I pink fuzzy heart that show!

makeadiff21 @marni71 We LOVE that show!

PuriChristos @marni71 Last Friday was the mid season finale new shows should start in January

@PuriChristos JANUARY?? Well crap. Okay, that gives me time to watch the other 4 seasons I guess.

@PuriChristos Okay, so I'll keep watching in on Hulu.com. When does new season start? And is Monk something I want to watch?

katdish @marni71 Monk is good. He's a germophobe

@katdish Great! So I'll relate to him. And he's OCD right? If it's the one I'm thinking of, we're kindred spirits and I should watch.

katdish @marni71 Yes. An OCD germophobe. He completes you.

Then @weightwhat and @katdish and I discussed our love of autumn and winter boots

@weightwhat I feel ya. I had to buy "chubby leg boots". It was fun to realize my cankles wouldn't fit in regular leather knee high boots.

katdish @marni71 Trying being fitted for ski boots only to have the guy tell you (in a surfer accent) "Your calves are HUGE!" Nice

@katdish Did you kidney punch him? Maybe and accidental groin graze as you removed your boot?

katdish @marni71 I swift head butt if I recall correctly.

weightwhat @marni71 Isn't that about the time that you should decide that boots are overrated?

@weightwhat I just about did, and then I found Lane Bryant online. I bought fabulous black patent leather boots. Too sexy for this tweet!

weightwhat @marni71 Uh-oh. You're not turning into a skanky ho now, are you? Just how high up do the boots go?

@weightwhat Just to the knees. There isn't enough patent leather in the world to make them go thigh-high on me...sigh.

weightwhat @marni71 Because your legs are incredibly long and model-like, right?

@weightwhat Yes, yes that's it. Thank you for that. I didn't clarify. Now people know.

Of course, we're cultural and artistic people, so we discussed important things...like what cartoons we like, and shows we do or don't watch.

@redclaydiaries Don't feel alone in your shame. I've never watched The Office either...

redclaydiaries @HeatherSunseri @marni71 THANK YOU. It's just so SLOW at first. (But I thot Star Trek NG was boring the 1st season.)

katdish @marni71 @redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter I just don't know what to say about all of this...

@katdish There is nothing TO say Judgy Mc Judger.

redclaydiaries @marni71 Call her Planky. She likes that.

@redclaydiaries Do I want to know why we're calling her Planky? I probably don't, but why??

katdish @marni71 Plank in the eye. But my eye has seen The Office. So it really doesn't apply.

@katdish @redclaydiaries Awww how sweet. How many of us can truly say we've found friendship by harsh Biblical conviction?

@sarahmsalter You MUST watch iCarly and Phineas & Ferb. They'll change your life. Caillou will reduce your IQ by 15 points. Avoid it.

@redclaydiaries Gitcheee gitcheee goo means that I love you!

@HeatherSunseri "Calliou" and "funny" are used in the same sentence, but let's hear your story ;-)

@HeatherSunseri AREN'T, I meant aren't. Seriously, they aren't. Did I mention they aren't??

redclaydiaries @marni71 Did u see?! @HeatherSunseri LOVES Caillou! WHO'S WITH ME ON ANOTHER INTERVENTION?!

@redclaydiaries {raising hand and waving it furiously} They're are counselors who work here. Shall I make her an appointment?

Did we scare@HeatherSunseri ? Maybe she blocked us???? Heather? Come back. We'll be nice(r).

@sarahmsalter HOLD THE PHONE, I just caught something you said. You didn't watch Seinfeld?

sarahmsalter @marni71 In my defense, when it was on, I was living at home. My Dad wouldn't allow it because he felt it was "trash." (His word, not mine.)

@sarahmsalter But now when we all start to celebrate Festivus, you won't know how to do it? Someone want to buy the pole this year?

sarahmsalter @marni71 Your lips are moving, but I don't understand the words coming out...

RT @sarahmsalter: @marni71 Your lips are moving, but I don't understand the words coming out...//I get that alot...sigh.

RT @redclaydiaries: @Helenatrandom I see Chris O'Donnell, and I still see Robin. Tights do not = hottie.//Um hello? Mikhail Baryshnikov.

redclaydiaries RT @marni71: @Helenatrandom It's okay Helen, I watch Hannah Montana by myself. \//WHAT? Get a rope...

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