For the last four years, Peyton has been attending Camp Esperanza at Camp John Marc. Camp Esperanza (Spanish for "hope) is for kids who have or have had cancer. It's a great week for the kids to be together and forget all they deal with. Peyton left this weekend and will be there all week :-)
So much has been consuming my heart lately, somedays I struggle mightily to process it all. I've narrowed it down to what I believe are 3 distinct areas:
1. I'm sending my firstborn off to college in 35 days. That in and of itself is enough to consume my thoughts. And in and of itself is making me very emotional right now...Did we teach her all she needs to know? Is she ready to handle the things life is about to throw at her? Will she make good choices? All the great unknowns of parenting are all boiling down to those 3 things. And they are consuming.
2. We are in search of a new church home. It'a painful thing to have to walk away from your church. It's even more painful when it's because you can't reconcile in your heart the damaging things going on within your church at the hands of God's people. One of the most painful things I've had to walk through is a church split. I have found myself comparing it to being a child of divorce. People you love can't be together anymore, there is tension in the home, no one is happy, and eventually, people you love go away and you don't see them daily anymore.
3. I have felt such a burden for my friend Nick and his work as a youth pastor. I belong to a wonderful community of like-minded prayer warriors who communicate on a daily basis. And Nick has been asking our community of warriors to keep his students in prayer for all kinds of heart-breaking problems they are facing. When I'm not consumed with my sadness over Lindsay moving away and leaving my church family, I'm consumed with praying for Nick, his students and his ministry.
And all 3 of those consuming things drive me straight into the arms of God everytime. For that I am grateful. What would I do without Him during these uncertain and burdensome times? What would I do without the faith and trust to know that even though I entertain fear and anger and sadness, that God is in full control and it will all work out to His glory? What would I do?
I've walked through seasons where my life is just shy of perfect and I've walked through seasons where I didn't know how I was going to take one more step. In both those seasons, I asked God not to let me forget what the other season was like so I will remember to trust Him in all times of my life. Right now, it's not a painful and gut-wrenching season, but I learned so much about God when times were very dark for me. Right now, I'm praying for all the things I've listed above, and I'm asking God to help me remember in the light, what I learned in the dark.
I know most of you who stop by this blog are fellow warriors. As you approach the Throne, will you keep my daughter, my church and Nick's ministry in your prayers? And in advance, Lord, thank you for going before us in these 3 situations and making clear a path of your will.
Until next time...
Love,
Marni
Peyton turned 9 on Tuesday...and like I said on my Facebook, she's living proof God is still in the business of miracles! This is a great year for us. When the doctors first gave us the scary news that Peyton had cancer, they told us we only had about 2 years left with her. And this year marks 5 years since remission. In cancer world, once you hit 5 years remission, you're in the clear. Yes, God is still in the business of miracles.
Peyton got to celebrate her birthday this year for a period of 10 days ;-) She started off the celebration by flying down to Houston with my mom to see Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Greg. They did all kinds of fun things:
We had a family party for her on the 4th of July. On her actual birthday (yesterday) Coach, Grammy Kay and Uncle Bruce took her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant. They gave her a new bathing suit and some cool kid-friendly makeup and a fashion designing set (her latest passion in life!) On Saturday, we're having a friend party for her at a local water park. A very happy birthday indeed!
